i'll have the number three.
- harry: obviously, you haven't had great sex yet...
- sally: it just so happens that i have had plenty of good sex...
- harry: with whom did you have this great sex?
- sally: i'm not going to tell you that!
- harry: fine. don't tell me.
- sally: shel gordon.
- harry: shel. sheldon? no, no. you did not have great sex with sheldon.
- sally: i did too.
- harry: no, you didn't. a sheldon can do your income taxes. if you need a root canal, sheldon's your man, but humpin' and pumpin' is not sheldon's strong suit. it's the name. 'do it to me, sheldon.' 'you're an animal, sheldon.' 'ride me, big sheldon.' it doesn't work.
- j.d.: i finally figured out what bothered me so much about you.
- kim: well, lay it on me studly.
- j.d.: it's the way you're so concerned about protecting yourself. i mean, no one in this entire hospital has a bad thing to say about you and i'm guessing that's because you're so careful not to rub anyone the wrong way... and you still wear your wedding ring. that prevents any guy from getting anywhere near you. you wouldn't operate on mr. peters and we both know how you're protecting yourself there. i dunno, i guess in the grand scheme of things it's not that big of a deal. i just, i was just a little disappointed when i found out who you turned out to be. i'll see you around.
- j.d.: i saw you did that surgery on mr. peters... did you decide it was the right thing to do?
- kim: no, actually, it was a stupid career risk.
- j.d.: then why'd you do it?
- kim: because for some reason i, find myself really caring about what you think of me.
- j.d.: oh. cool.
- will: there's something i've always been dying to ask you.
- mac: ask anything.
- will: why did you tell me?
- mac: because i wouldn't have been able to live with it.
- will: now i have to live with it.
- mac: would you rather i'd have been dishonest?
- will: yes.
the desiderata of happiness.
❝GO PLACIDLY AMID THE NOISE AND HASTE, and remember what peace there may be in silence. as far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the full and the ignorant; they too have their story.
avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexatious to the spirit. if you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. but let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.
be yourself. especially, do not feign affection. neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. but do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.
and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. therefore be at peace with god, whatever you conceive him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. with all its shams, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. be cheerful.
STRIVE TO BE HAPPY.❞
— max ehrmann.
i beg young people to travel. if you don’t have a passport, get one. take a summer, get a backpack and go to delhi, go to saigon, go to bangkok, go to kenya. have your mind blown. eat interesting food. dig some interesting people. have an adventure. be careful. come back and you’re going to see your country differently, you’re going to see your president differently, no matter who it is. music, culture, food, water. your showers will become shorter. you’re going to get a sense of what globalization looks like. it’s not what tom friedman writes about; i’m sorry. you’re going to see that global climate change is very real. and that for some people, their day consists of walking 12 miles for four buckets of water. and so there are lessons that you can’t get out of a book that are waiting for you at the other end of that flight. a lot of people — americans and europeans — come back and go, ‘ohhhhh.’ and the lightbulb goes on.
— henry rollins.
- rose: i just had a thought...
- dorothy: congratulations.
you are from new york, therefore you are just naturally interesting. okay? it is not up to you to fill in all the pauses, you are not in danger of mortifying yourself. the worst stuff that you say, sounds better than the best stuff that some other people say.
— hannah horvath.
- park ranger: so, what happened? i mean, did you forget to check the entire field? i find a lot of women have problems with tunnel vision.
- leslie knope: no, i'm an excellent hunter.
- park ranger: how did you end up shooting a guy in the head, then?
- leslie knope: fair enough. i was walking in the woods and then i tripped and my gun went off.
- park ranger: ah, so you forgot to put the safety on.
- leslie knope: oh, i always have the safety on, i mean... when i was tripping i saw a quail and i shot at it.
- park ranger: mid-trip?
- leslie knope: no. that's. okay, fine. i got that tunnel vision that girls get. that's what happened, end of story.
- park ranger: well, i think you're hysterical because of all the excitement, obviously. so, i'm just not following your story, all right?
- leslie knope: um, i let my emotions get the best of me. i just, i cared too much, i guess. i was thinking with my lady-parts. i was walking and i felt something icky. i thought there was gonna be chocolate. i don't even remember. i'm wearing a new, um, bra and it closes in the front and it popped-open and threw me off. all i wanna do is have babies! are you single? i'm just, like, going through a thing right now. i guess when my life is incomplete i wanna shoot someone. this would not happen if i had a penis! (putting on lipstick) -- what? bitches be crazy. i'm good at tolerating pain, i'm bad at math, and... i'm stupid.
- tom: what happened? why - why didn't they work out?
- summer: what always happens. life.
why do i fall in love with every girl that shows me the least bit of attention?
— joel barish.
top three phrases:
- what if.
- this too, shall pass.
- i could be wrong.
— who said this?
- clem: this is it, joel. it's going to be gone soon.
- joel: i know.
- clem: what do we do?
- joel: enjoy it.
i can’t control my destiny, i trust my soul, my only goal is just to be. there’s only now, there’s only here. give in to love or live in fear. no other path, no other way. no day but today.
— jonathan larson.